In the past year, we’ve made tremendous strides in our march to change the world of software testing. We started by doing functional testing for web apps. Then came desktop apps. And then mobile apps. More recently, we’ve expanded to provide load testing services.
Since we clearly have nothing left to prove in the software testing game, we’ve set our sights on other testing markets that are in desperate need of our special brand of crowd-driven innovation. And after months of market research (mostly just watching movies), focus groups (a collection of bobblehead dolls we bought on eBay), and with the help of the brilliant consultants at Prestige Worldwide (NSFW), we’re pleased to announce our revolutionary new testing services in the following categories:
Driving tests: Can’t keep it between the lines? Don’t know how to parallel park? Not even sure what “10 & 2″ means? No problem. With a community of 24,000+ testers from 162 countries around the world, we have people who know how to drive on the left- or right-hand side of the road. We can help with the written exam and the road test (Please note: this would be considered 2 separate test projects).
Food tests: Afraid someone’s trying to poison you? Think someone may have slipped something into your drink? Or maybe you’re just concerned that your soup is too hot? Taking unnecessary risks with your food is now a thing of the past. Just ping uTest and we’ll have a tester on-site in minutes, ready to sample your food or beverage and deal with the consequences.
Paternity tests: Not sure what your responsibilities are? Scared to learn the results? With this latest service, you don’t have to be. We’ve got testers everywhere and we’re happy to help you pass the test of a lifetime. A member of our community can either take the test for you or help you study for it yourself.
Breathalyzer tests: Say you find yourself on the wrong end of a breathalyzer test… what are you gonna do? Run for it? Risk it? Well now you don’t have to make that difficult choice. In our community of 24,000+, we have literally dozens of testers who are sober at any given time. Just access the uTest platform from your mobile device and we’ll have a tester by your side in minutes who’s ready to help you out of a potential jam.
Chemical tests: Worried about the paint in the old house you just bought? Not sure where your kids’ toys were made or what’s in them? Concerned about what will happen if your pet ingests a cocktail of household cleaners? We’ve got you covered. Our testers will lick toys, eat paint chips or gargle with Windex to make sure you’re safe. Please note: hazard pay is required for class 5 carcinogenic chemicals.
Sanity tests: Scared that you may be one outburst away from your boss, relatives or the courts sending you away “to a really nice place”? Don’t get locked up against your will (again). Let a member of our community tell the doctor what those ink blots look like. And if you awake to find that they’ve already committed you, uTest can still help. Just find a way to contact us and we’ll send a tester to sign you out posing as a distant cousin.
SAT tests: Trying to make the grade? Have an unnatural fear of #2 pencils? Does the phrase “D) All of the Above” make you break out in a cold sweat? Breathe easy, uTest is here. While some would say that having us take your SAT is “cheating”, we’d like to think of it as a (really dark) gray area. Regardless, once you get into the college of your choice, you can thank us by referring your classmates during mid-term week.
Structural integrity tests: Does your roof look like it’s sagging? Does that deck feel wobbly? Debating whether you should replace the missing leg on that kitchen table? Don’t guess, let us test it for you. Using what we call “live stress testing”, we’ll send a tester (or a team of testers) to your house and jump up and down on whatever you tell us to. And with our detailed tester profiles, you know for sure if a tester is afraid of heights. No roof is too high; no bruise is too big… that’s our motto.
Gullibility tests: In this day & age, how do you know who or what to trust? Is something real or a complete joke? Well, you can stop doubting and start doing, because uTest will now help you pass any gullibility test. Our community is full of skeptics… jaded, cynical people who don’t believe anything that can’t be proven. And they’re happy to share their opinions with you!
We thought about adding security testing services, or testing TV set top boxes, but that sounded pretty far-fetched. Our CEO, Doron, said it best when we were finalizing these plans at a high-level, super-secret strategy session (read as: pizza & beer in the conference room):
It’s all testing, right? I mean, will our community actually do this stuff? They will? Yeah, then let’s do it.
Inspirational to the point of being chilling… Anyway, these services are all available beginning today. If you have ideas for other stuff we could test, or if you’d like a brochure on any of our new testing services, please send us a note.